NATIONAL THINK ABOUT BREATHING MONTH

Ok so folks --self….it is time for me to get back on the wagon and write.
The truth is that lately I have not felt like writing. My brain has been tired. I have a day job and it has consumed most of….well…my brain.
BUT….I am back and I would say fiercely back but I can not breathe well so I am staggering a bit to get up and face the screen. Breathing is not something that I tend to think about but it appears that September is national think about breathing month for me, or so it has been for the last 3 years.

There is obviously something in the air in my town that offends my lungs. I did not know that my lungs cared so much but boy do they. They are not happy and they do not mind expressing themselves one bit. They have been on strike. Fortunate for me there are plenty of drugs out there to fight their strike and I am on plenty at the moment. If I got drug tested I am pretty sure work would believe that I have flipped my lid and decided that I need to bulk up. What other conclusion could they draw from the amount of steroids in me at this time?

So, I say a prayer for my lungs.

What does it mean to you?

What does it mean to you?
Every 4th of July, I start thinking about what Freedom means to me. I am grateful that I am an American.
This weekend I had the great fortune to spend some time with Amanda's friend’s mom Gail and hear some stories about when they visit Iran as a family. I can not imagine having the actual fashion police at the mall entrance with an Uzi just to make sure my skin or hair is not showing. It seems beyond silly to think that such a thing could occur today, in the day of IPHONE (did I mention that I love mine?) and MTV. I thought surely my generation the X generation cured all of these things. It seems that we did not cure them but rather ignore them. We had photos of us in parachute pants to hide. We had new cars to buy. We voted for Clinton and surely he would take care of it?
Right?
Oh wait no he was busy with Monica! AND some of US ----> ME voted for Perot.
So I recently realized that I have been so busy in traffic that I was not even paying attention to my own civil rights issue. Again, I thought someone else would take care of it. Thankfully, there is a whole world out there fighting for me, for my family but I NEED to fight too. I need to do something. I need to be a part.
I dedicate myself to the news. I listen to my Man Rush. I listen to FOX NEWS at my desk. I think about politics daily. However, I have not been reading gay news. I have not been thinking about it. Perhaps I have been a lazy gay. Who knows but here I am reading and writing now.
I went to the march and frankly, I did not want to go. It is not that I was not interested. It is just that I thought it was silly to march in the same ol’ gay neighborhood. I thought if we are going to do something then march where you live. I thought I should grab a sign and march in Bedford. If you live in Hurst march in Hurst. If you live in Mount Vernon then march there.
Ha! That is easy for me to say. Mt. Vernon, is my home town and I still do not go there. I spent my life terrified there. I spent my life there trying to be normal. Ok BUT now I am older, wiser and somewhat braver. The country is where you are killed for being gay. Well come to find out, the city is where you get your head bashed for being gay. Now, I do not know the facts of the Rainbow Lounge situation. I am not sure that even HE recalls the facts but I do know that it was bad timing. I do know that it was 40 years prior that the gay rights movement really got started.
Ok, I got off on a small tangent there!
So, I went to the march IN THE HEAT! It was hot! Did I mention that already? Yes, of course I did but good grief there is hot and then there is HOT!
When we rounded the first corner and I saw the cops standing there protecting our right to march I started to choke up. I started to realize why I was there. 40 years prior to that day cops were beating people purely because they were gay. On that day at that march and at every other march across this country cops were standing on the sidelines protecting people just because they were gay. The cops were stopping the traffic for us so that we could march. It was moving. It is still moving. I have not been the same since. I was there chanting about equal rights and that was the point of the march but I believe for me it was about celebrating the country that I live in. It was about hope. It was about humanity. It all came together for me in that neighborhood that I could not wait to find when I was young. It was all about that neighborhood that I drank Dr. Pepper out of glass bottles on Friday nights because I would never drink and drive but wanted to be around people that would not judge me. It was about loving the people who do not understand me or who rejected me when I came out of the closet. It was about the upcoming July 4th that always makes me weepy. For me that march was not about anyone else but me and my country that I so love.
The truth is that sometimes I forget that I am different. I forget that if I walk into the mall (which I avoid at all cost) holding my wife’s hand that people may not be looking at my shoes or the necklace that I just made but rather may be looking at me because I happen to be holding another girls hand. I forget.
The reason that I forget is because I have been blessed. God has taken care of me every step of my life. It is only when I forget to look towards HIM that I get lost. It is only when I choose my own path that I create heartache.
I have been blessed with friends and family and family friends that made the choice to know me and not judge me. My life is wonderful and it is not wonderful because of the car I drive or the phone that I have. It is wonderful because one of my favorite people is my wife’s ex-husband. It is wonderful because my mother has mostly figured out how to text and she loves me. It is wonderful because even though my best friend on this planet could not give birth she was able to adopt two beautiful children and became the mother that God intended her to be. My life is wonderful because even though my 13 year old, soon to be 14 year old is pouting in her bedroom I know she is only pouting and not sneaking out or doing drugs. I know she is a good kid. My life is wonderful because each and every day I wake up grateful to be here and be a part of society.

Nothing really to say...yet I typed a lot

Ok so this weekend is the Million Gay March and it is going to be hot. My darling wife is telling the gay Dish Network guy all about it. She has the phone because I was going to have a breakdown if I had to talk to them one more time. God Bless you wife!

For father's day we went to a wonderful church service. Andi's (the wife) ex-father-in-law was playing the drums this sunday. It was a wonderful service. I really liked their preacher. Saturday night we went to the water park with the same family and watched a fire works show.

The ex-in-laws of hers have been such a wonderful blessing my life. Nancy (ex-mother-in-law) has been nothing but kind and loving towards me. She did not have to accept me and love me as she has considering I am the wife of her the woman who divorced her son years ago but she has been wonderful from day one.

To be honest, I would love to go to this church on a regular basis. I want to bead with the women of the church. It is always the same struggle for me though. I am a Christian woman above all things. I am a Republican who loves Rush Limbaugh. All of these things make me an ideal candidate for this church with one minor except, I am gay.

I sometimes forget that I am gay. In the mornings I crawl out of bed, get in the shower, make coffee and then go annoy my wife. I try to convince her she should get out of bed even though it is summer and she does not have to take our daughter to school, which means she can sleep in. I go to work (grateful for a job). Then I go home, clean house, have dinner with the family, stare at the stack of bills, watch some tv (if it ever works again) and then crawl back into my bed again with my wife.

So, see I am boring and normal but I could not be a member. Being a member was quite important to me up until recently. Now, I just want to be a part. I do not need to be a member of the church right now. I think I will go bead anyways as well. The worst that can happen is that they like me or they do not like me.

I am not an alien. I do not have horns. I do not eat weird bugs for a hobby. I watch the same shows. I say similar prayers for my wife, my friends, my child. I hate my dogs but still give them water and treats. I am normal.

I have ya-yas. I have a best friend that moved to California. I am normal. I want to be a part but I do not have to be a member

BUT I SURE WOULD LIKE TO BE ABLE TO BE ONE!

Free Will?

A question just popped into my head.

If we humans have free will, does satan as well?


If satan does have free will then what if he did not participate in the wars of the end times? What if he said 'nah' I do not feel the need to fight with you God. I am happy with things just as they are.

Health Care in America

Simple point.

If they ‘Congress’ want us to use a government run system my only question is will they use the same one?

They ‘Congress’ have a lovely health care system right now today. Considering WE Americans pay for that with our hard earned tax dollars, shouldn’t we all get the same coverage?

The portuguese kept coming

The portuguese kept coming


Happy New Year to us.


Happy New Year to me.


THe portuguese....they keep coming.....to speak it to Andi

They want to teach her the way of Jehovah. But they want to do it in Portugese.
I do not know why.
They just do. At the UNGodly hour of 10:44 am.
Vacation. People have you not heard of it?

Surely Jehovah knows that people are on vacation

and waking at the UNGodly hour of

10:44 am is not part of the plan. NO NO NO They did not know.
SO, I....I had on the pants in the house. The kid.
SHe may have had pants on but.....
HELLO WE ARE ON HOLIDAY here folks. SHe
was still sleeping.....
SO, I had the pants on SO I answered the door.
THey asked for Andrea... Sounded quite official to me???

THen they said "We want to witness to her.... BUT SHE DOES NOT HAVE THE PANTS....
THE PANTS ARE NOT ON.. THis I did not say but I thought it.

ONce I realized who they were I could not let the moment pass.
SO I ran into the bedroom where Andi was keeping the
dogs in peaceful silence by smothering them until
THEY WERE SILENT. OK not really but I wish...
Oh how I wish.

SO, I fetched her... I told her she must
put on pants because very important people wanted her attention. For the love of GOd...they wanted to witness to her in Portuguese.



OH never mind. I lost my point.