Nothing really to say...yet I typed a lot

Ok so this weekend is the Million Gay March and it is going to be hot. My darling wife is telling the gay Dish Network guy all about it. She has the phone because I was going to have a breakdown if I had to talk to them one more time. God Bless you wife!

For father's day we went to a wonderful church service. Andi's (the wife) ex-father-in-law was playing the drums this sunday. It was a wonderful service. I really liked their preacher. Saturday night we went to the water park with the same family and watched a fire works show.

The ex-in-laws of hers have been such a wonderful blessing my life. Nancy (ex-mother-in-law) has been nothing but kind and loving towards me. She did not have to accept me and love me as she has considering I am the wife of her the woman who divorced her son years ago but she has been wonderful from day one.

To be honest, I would love to go to this church on a regular basis. I want to bead with the women of the church. It is always the same struggle for me though. I am a Christian woman above all things. I am a Republican who loves Rush Limbaugh. All of these things make me an ideal candidate for this church with one minor except, I am gay.

I sometimes forget that I am gay. In the mornings I crawl out of bed, get in the shower, make coffee and then go annoy my wife. I try to convince her she should get out of bed even though it is summer and she does not have to take our daughter to school, which means she can sleep in. I go to work (grateful for a job). Then I go home, clean house, have dinner with the family, stare at the stack of bills, watch some tv (if it ever works again) and then crawl back into my bed again with my wife.

So, see I am boring and normal but I could not be a member. Being a member was quite important to me up until recently. Now, I just want to be a part. I do not need to be a member of the church right now. I think I will go bead anyways as well. The worst that can happen is that they like me or they do not like me.

I am not an alien. I do not have horns. I do not eat weird bugs for a hobby. I watch the same shows. I say similar prayers for my wife, my friends, my child. I hate my dogs but still give them water and treats. I am normal.

I have ya-yas. I have a best friend that moved to California. I am normal. I want to be a part but I do not have to be a member

BUT I SURE WOULD LIKE TO BE ABLE TO BE ONE!

Free Will?

A question just popped into my head.

If we humans have free will, does satan as well?


If satan does have free will then what if he did not participate in the wars of the end times? What if he said 'nah' I do not feel the need to fight with you God. I am happy with things just as they are.

Health Care in America

Simple point.

If they ‘Congress’ want us to use a government run system my only question is will they use the same one?

They ‘Congress’ have a lovely health care system right now today. Considering WE Americans pay for that with our hard earned tax dollars, shouldn’t we all get the same coverage?

The portuguese kept coming

The portuguese kept coming


Happy New Year to us.


Happy New Year to me.


THe portuguese....they keep coming.....to speak it to Andi

They want to teach her the way of Jehovah. But they want to do it in Portugese.
I do not know why.
They just do. At the UNGodly hour of 10:44 am.
Vacation. People have you not heard of it?

Surely Jehovah knows that people are on vacation

and waking at the UNGodly hour of

10:44 am is not part of the plan. NO NO NO They did not know.
SO, I....I had on the pants in the house. The kid.
SHe may have had pants on but.....
HELLO WE ARE ON HOLIDAY here folks. SHe
was still sleeping.....
SO, I had the pants on SO I answered the door.
THey asked for Andrea... Sounded quite official to me???

THen they said "We want to witness to her.... BUT SHE DOES NOT HAVE THE PANTS....
THE PANTS ARE NOT ON.. THis I did not say but I thought it.

ONce I realized who they were I could not let the moment pass.
SO I ran into the bedroom where Andi was keeping the
dogs in peaceful silence by smothering them until
THEY WERE SILENT. OK not really but I wish...
Oh how I wish.

SO, I fetched her... I told her she must
put on pants because very important people wanted her attention. For the love of GOd...they wanted to witness to her in Portuguese.



OH never mind. I lost my point.

BRAKE TIME

So what is the enemy of life? It could be so many things. Perhaps it is the fact that we own cars. Should we go back to horses? It seems they were less efficient but also cheaper to operate. Give a horse an apple or blueberry muffin on occasion and they are good to go. Oh perhaps a horse should actually get water as well.

However, a car is a different story. Those darn things need gas, working brakes, and a sunroom that actually opens and closes. It is crazy really. I mean gas might go up to umm somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 million dollars per gallon because of a storm. Brakes cost $500 bucks to repair. It is all a lot of trouble.

Oh we must not forget the g/f's oil change. Ok well we should not forget her oil change but of course we just put it off. It is like doing the laundry. Sure the laundry needs to be done and the oil needs to be changed but there is chocolate fondue to have and we have priorities folks.

Ok so how about time. Time is an enemy as well. This weekend we ran like a madd crazy set of women. We shopped until we actually dropped. I think somewhere between Kroger and home on Sat. night I injured my left knee. Andi seemed to injure her left knee at Target on Sunday. Now when the kid came home on Sunday one of the first things she said is "my knee hurts." I started to laugh out loud and she looked at me like I was a cruel bitch. I could not help but laugh though. I said "well at least it is the right and we are now balanced." Yes when we do something as a family we all get involved. It is the only way.

Now we went to Kroger for a phillips head screw driver. We are horrible lesbians because between the two of us we did not have a decent one. Andi had one but it was damaged. I had a handy dandy fancy tool kit in my car. Everything I could need was in that thing except for one item that is mysteriously missing: a freakin' phillips head screwdriver. Now at this point we had been shopping ALL DAY long for furniture.
I am determined that I am going put that crap together that night because basically it had to be done. So we went to Kroger and they had pretty much all things a person could need including DVD-R's but not a phillips head screwdriver. We were not defeated though. We would just keep moving on. We went across the street to a fine store called Albertsons. Now most people would go to either Home Depot or Wal-Mart perhaps for such an item but not us. We are not traditional. We found it at the handy dandy local Albertsons and it was only $1.00.

oh and

Ok so I walk around the world....not actually all the way around but sometimes I go to the store....and I see all of these people smoking. I always wonder how they started and why. Is it all rebellion? It seems like most people that I know that smoke wish they did not. Considering the cost and the stink and the health what is it with people that do it? Is it like the teen baby thing? Perhaps everyone just wants to be cool? Perhaps people do not think they will become addicts? Did I miss something growing up though? I mean I do not ever remember thinking someone was cool because they smoked? I remember wishing people did not b/c it is stinky. Perhaps my nose is just sensitive.

I know that Rob started smoking while in the army because he was bored. It was a way for him to pass time. Now he has tried several different things to quite. Funny how that works. Will he get bored again because he quite and then do it again because he is bored?

Todd loves smoking. He has absolutely no desire to quite.

I love soda. I wonder if it is just as bad for me? I am no longer allowed to have soda in the house. That makes me sad. :(

to fill a truck

I need to purchase about 37,000 #'s of plate today. It is amazing how difficult that can be. I want to find the best possible deal. I have spent the last couple of hours staring at lines and lines of numbers and trying to calculate the $/lb of each one. After about an hour they all started to run together. I ran to Bobby for help. After lunch we are going to look at some thinner plate. How much base plate material does one woman really need anyways?

I believe the world has caught onto my cheap schemes. There is very little cheap plate left.

Ok so this weekend was great. It is amazing how wonderful a simple weekend can be. It is amazing how busy a simple weekend can be. It is also amazing how chocolate in a fondue pot really hightens a good time. I suppose chocolate fondue on carpet with candles all around is about as good as life gets. mmmm that pound cake was damn good.

I want to travel the world on a bus and meet random people and then write about them.
Oh wait no I don't. I swore to never ride a bus again. Wheh! I am glad I remembered before I actually bought that ticket. The idea is cool though. Those things are stinky though. I am not sure if people just forget to actually pee in the toilet on those things or if it is just not possible to keep one clean. I would think that a little freebreeze could go a long ways on a bus though. I think I will just stay away from them all together though.

I sure wish I could ride the train to work. I can only imagine how much more productive I could be on a train. I probably would not be at all more productive but it sure is a nice thought. I can also blame my lack of productivity on the fact that I can not ride a train to work. I would finish that book if only I could ride a train to work. I sure could finish that afghan if I could ride a train to work. I know all of my laundry would surely be done if I could ride a train to work. I probably would not have spent so much at Target if I could ride a train to work. I bet there would be world peace if I rode a train....ok maybe I would just nap.

Did you know there are people out there in the world who actually watched MASH?
I did not know this but I happen to live with one of the damaged ones. It is sad really. I think I should get some sort of special button for loving one of those kinds. I bet my damn best friend B liked it too. I am surrounded by freaks....by choice even....what does that say about me?

I want to live in a great dead poets house. I wonder if I would then be more inspired? Would the poet visit me in my sleep and give me great lines?

VERY IMPORTANT

If you choke a SMURF what color does it turn?

Truly Random crap

Yours…Yours….Truly Yours….Best Wishes!

Are you ready to crawl face down in the mud like a pig?

It is not a habit. I am not an addict.

So this is it. This is how a life really begins. It is about being home all day and that being pure joy. I can remember a time when I could not just stay home because it felt so empty there. I hate the idea of leaving our little Kingdom now. My future is in the kitchen making a cake for Todd and the kid is in the chair manning the IPOD and playing gameboy. I am of course the lazy one typing.

Today I have been mostly sleeping. I am not sure why exactly but I just kept getting tired.
I did organize the book shelf area though. I think it looks better. I love my choices of books between the cd’s.

To the left: God’s Politics, Stephen King & Stiff
To the right: Mellisa Etheridge, Bible, The ethical Slut.

The ethical Slut seems like a MUST read. I have no idea what it is about but I thought it was a great combo. Perhaps I am just weird but display books can make a statement. For years I had a stack of books that were as followed: Rush, Bible, Rosie!

I did that because they represent the things that are important to me. The Bible was the center book for, hopefully, an obvious reason. Rush represents my views that are quite opposite the views of Rosie. I like Rosie though. She has done some things that are considered evil by some, including me, yet she has also done some great things. Most people who know me know I love both of these people. Of course, I love what they represent because I do not truly know them.

Rush is not all good. He has his own set of issues. Most people know he is a drug addict. That news was quite shocking though. I will never forget the day he announced it on his show. I was working in Iowa at the time. The radio reception in that particular building was horrible. We had to rig up an interesting little antenna situation but it worked. At 1:00pm
We all hovered around the radio to listen to what we new was going to be as important to us as the OJ verdict. He made his announcement and then he left. It broke my heart but I believed in him just the same.

There are people who say the only reason he came clean is because he was exposed. I would not disagree with that. Most of the time people do not admit an addiction until they are forced. It seems to me that there has to be some sort of traumatic event that occurs before they face they have a problem. Considering I had followed this man for years I would not just immediately hate him or swear to never listen to him again.

Walter Williams was a big presence on his show during that time frame. I really enjoy that man a lot. He is an interesting black man. Now I would not normally point out the color of person’s skin but in this case it is somehow relevant in my mind. He is anti-affirmative action. He hates deer in his yard (this is not a black thing). As a matter of fact the only reason I point out that he is black is because of affirmative action.

I planned my schedule around the Rosie show. I was so excited when it came on. I first fell for her when I saw her and Madonna on Letterman-Leno. I do not remember which dude it was but hey they run together. It is like saying 48/20/60. Does it really matter which show? Ok well it probably matters to the networks and the hosts but other than that, us normal folks could care less. Actually, maybe that is just me that feels that way. I just asked my future and she prefers to read Leno and watch Letterman, and who is the freak here?

Perhaps if I were awake often enough for those damn shows, oh and had television it is possible I would have a favorite. However, I doubt I would care regardless. So anyways, Rosie and Madonna were on some random late night show together and they were all over one another and being silly. They were promoting A League of their Own. That was an awesome movie. Anyways, I had noticed Rosie before that but there was just something about her that night that won me over.

She is horribly raunchy on stage. She is over the top. Her book is the best book I have ever read. It really took me by surprise. I bought it in Iowa and read it all in one day. I read quite slow but it was that good. I was reading her blog when I had the internet.

Ok so the kid is going to take the shower. My future has blown her fuse. I sent the kid to go check out what a fuse is and she smashed Andi behind the door. It is shower time for us all and I am just write write write about nothing in particular. Tonight we are going to a birthday party for Todd. Rob will be there. Andi is randomly looking thru the house for a place to beat the eggs. This is really cracking me up. Ok she is now headed towards the bedroom with a bowl and an egg beater.

We have a bird. He bites me. He is not my friend. I try to be his friend but he just bites me. He pooped on Andi today. I did hold him for a while. I think he is just a bit moody. He is actually a she but shhhhhh It is a secret. The kid does not know. I am not sure why exactly but sometimes it is just better to ‘go with it!’

I could not imagine being anywhere other than where I am at this exact moment. There was a time when I said ‘one day I will be happy’ but I am not sure I even understood the definition. It is hard to understand this type of happiness and joy until you experience it.
I have seen it in other people. I wanted to be like Matt and Brenda and Sue and Todd but to achieve it is amazing and such a blessing.

Somehow things are just different. I never knew I could be this happy. I never knew that I could feel this sort of bliss. It is not all grins all of the time though. Last night Andi and I had an incident. I even left. I can not do that again though. I know that. I know it is not the way to behave. I did not go far. I drove around the parking lot and then did the walk of shame back up the stairs. The beauty of it is that we talked and talked. It appears as though we resolved some things. We seem to be able to talk about anything. I felt so bad when she came in the bedroom though. Oh my gosh, when I walked in the front door, our only option in, she looked so bizarre. She looked rather sad and confused. Perhaps she was just mostly confused. She did not know why I was upset. I thought it was obvious but of course, I was the one with an issue. So then I walked in and directly went into the closet to change. I did not change me but just my clothes. After that I got stuff together to crawl in bed and listen to music and read.

The amazing thing about it is that I could not leave. There was never a moment when I thought things would not be ok. I fell into the old habitual thought process of leave leave leave for a few moments but it was fleeting. There is no way I can ever be too far away from this woman. She is my home base. She is my grounding point. She is my center. She is my focus. I do not know what it is exactly about her that draws me, perhaps it is just everything she is. I could make a list of her awesome features and perhaps I should but I worry that words could never express the essence of her. I believe her and I will always end up back in one another’s arms. She is without a doubt the most amazing person I have ever known. I am so in love.

Mel does not really smoke. She put the line about smoking in her song Occasionally because she thought it sounded good. I brought over her book because I thought my future my like to read it. I guess I am just addicted to the pain of delight. She has had a lot of pain in her life. I would suggest portions of it were self inflicted bootcamp experiences. I would suggest us humans must all go through boot camp. I would love to set up the kids life so that she did not have to but I think the only way she can truly grow is by experiencing things. I did not give birth to this kid but I know I am going to be around for some major years of her life. The teenage years can make or break a person. It is tough being a teenager. I suppose life in general is tough. I would love to protect her and I hope to for some amount of it but at the same time she has to be allowed to experience things. Gosh this parenting thing is tough in concept and even more so in reality.

I just got back from the party. My head hurts. I am truly tired of feeling bad. Perhaps I am really falling apart. I am a mess. I am so happy yet so ill. How is that and why? Actually, I am not terribly ill. I am just ill enough to have moments of misery and not really live life to its fullest.

Tonight was fun. I always enjoy being around Sue and Todd. Cody is getting so big. Austin was not there. I keep missing time with him.

I wonder if those peanut and butter oreos are actually good? I like pb&j sandwiches. I think they are hard to make though. The majority of my life I would mix the two items in a bowl and then put it on the sandwich. I hate the peanut butter with nuts. I will only eat crunchy. I do not like peanuts. It is interesting that I will eat peanut butter considering that. I guess the smooth does not taste much like peanuts really. I will eat peanuts at the ball park though. I just suck the red skin off and then spit out the nut. I can not stand peanut butter cookies but I do not like nutter butter cookies. Nutter butter cookies are one my favorite types actually. I prefer them over oreos or chocolate chip. Those peanut butter girl scout cookies rock too.

Is it rude that I spit at the ball park? I guess spitting is rude in general. I should consider that next time I am there. Hmmm The main reason for going to a base ball game is the garlic fries. Andi refuses to go to a game and that is sad. She is missing out on something wonderful.


I really enjoyed my time in Iowa. There things that were a bit of a bummer about it but for the most part it rocked. I did what I wanted when I wanted. I ate when I wanted and where I wanted. I shopped alone. I went to the movies. There were days when I would see two movies. It was great. I would read while I was eating and I got in a lot of books during that time. I had never spent quite that much time alone before and I was not sure how it would be. I think it was good for me. When Rob started working this job I got to spend a lot of time alone again. I really enjoyed it. It is interesting how much I enjoyed that considering how much I love my life now. I guess I am versatile.

When I was a kid we would walk up to Hometown and get a soda. I loved those sodas in the glass bottles. I would love to have one of those machines in my house some day. I remember back then you could return the soda bottles for cash. Heck now that I think about it I can remember the big cokes in the glass bottles. I do not remember the switch to plastic being all that shocking though.

There are times that I miss the small town life. I remember when we went to the grocery store everyone knew us. It is just not the same here. I rarely see the same person again in a store here. It is weird to think about in a way. It is like waving. Here we do not wave to one another because it is impossible. Back home we waved at everyone.

I want to wittle. I was thinking about it yesterday. The men who did that were really creative. Imagine sitting down with a pocket knife and random piece of wood and coming out with a hippo. A person has to have mental vision and then the skill to create it. Is it a lost art? I saw a person who had a chain made out of wood that his father had wittled. That is really amazing. I can only imagine the amount of time and patience that was involved in that.


PLEASE NOTE THAT WHEN I WROTE ABOUT THE NUTS I WAS VERY TIRED AND OBVIOUSLY NOT VERY COHERENT!~!!~~!!

plastic

can someone tell me why plastic does not dry as quickly as glass? i have noticed that when I open the dishwasher the plastic is still well but the glass is dry. what is this about? it is quite annoying!

Guitar Lessons

Ok so today I went back to work. I swear if I take a day off it takes me 10 to catch up. I guess they discourage days off and that is why I only get 5 a year. It is amazing how stingy one becomes with those days when they are so very numbered.

I had guitar lessons today. I suck. This is the agreement we have come to but HE of course believes there is hope. Ok so he did not exactly say I suck but he did give me even easier music to practice. The man also gave me fingering exercises to practice...
yeah ~r~ do not even touch that one dear. So anyways I am going to do these lessons for at least 10 minutes a day.

the REAL meaning of it all

Silly me! I thought Starbucks was just about coffee but NOOO ma'am it is much deeper than that.

I mean of course the Disney thing but Starbucks too? So let me see if I have this right....people are sitting around in the world trying to find ways to get the Goddess back in the world but they can not be upfront about it so they must create symbols? Now the average person such as myself would never notice the symbols or the meaning, so I suppose it is for the secret and the elite or just the really observant?

Well I think in the morning I will go to Starbucks and drink to the Goddess. Perhaps I am helping her cause and soon she can join her beloved.

fat actress

Ok so I watched Fat Actress today. It was oddly good. It was also painful to watch.
It is funny. I do not blame her for doing it one bit though. It is unlike anything else I have ever seen. Showtime is good about that though.

I mean come "Dead Like Me" and of course QAF and L Word.

DLM is by far the best done show on tv, in my opinion. Lost is close but DLM wins out.

wow

This is truly amazing!

illusion or disillusion (a bit personal folks may not want to read this)

n.

1. 1. An erroneous perception of reality.
   2. An erroneous concept or belief.
2. The condition of being deceived by a false perception or belief.
3. Something, such as a fantastic plan or desire, that causes an erroneous belief or perception.
4. Illusionism in art.
5. A fine transparent cloth, used for dresses or trimmings.

disillusion

n : freeing from false belief or illusions [syn: disenchantment, disillusionment] v : free from enchantment [syn: disenchant] [ant: enchant]

Ok which is better folks? That is the question for the week!

identity theft

Indentity theft is the new buzz word in America. I called just a bit ago and validated one of my credit cards. I have had the thing forever but have had no need for it until today. Anyways,
the process was a real pain in the butt. They spent about 10 minutes forcing me to listen to recordings about their version of indentity theft protection. While I was holding the phone out until the recordings were over I had a thought. Perhaps it is the credit card companies that started this whole trend in the first place. Perhaps they were not making enough money off of interest rates so they decided to 'create' a new problem so that they could sell the solution 'protection'!
Doesn't this go along with the whole theory that dear ol' pres knew that pearl harbor was going to be bombed but he needed a way to get us into the war? Similar thought anyways? I dunno maybe not.

I read an article in readers digest once about this issue. The guy who wrote it put his social security # in the article for the whole word to see. His point was that it is not all a secret anyways. It is way too easy to find info about us normal people in this world and so we can live a life of fear or accept the fact that for 20 bucks we can learn anything we want about a person.

double roll

I was in the bathroom today and I looked over at the charmin toilet paper and noticed it said DOUBLE ROLL. It got me to thinking about the last time I went to whataburger. I ordered one of the smaller meals....#8 to be exact...chicken strips and fries and they gave me this HUGE drink. I
hate getting those big ol' cups b/c all of the ice melts and they do not fit in the cup holder most of the time etc. etc. Although they have recently started making the cup holders in cars bigger in order to hold these HUGE cups.

Everything in life is bigger...toilet paper must now be double roll...super size of course (silly question)...gulp size drinks. my chest has not grown a bit though. what is that about? I know this is not an original thought but I really do wonder what it is all about. We have the HUGE suv's and the big houses. What is our issue with size?

sleep

I am too tired to sleep. Is that really possible? I believe it is.

I think I am going to go to the Baptist church on Wed. I emailed the preacher today and he sent me the info. I think this is right up my alley. I am not sure I will ever fully understand the average church. I know that I am welcome as long as I am closeted.

I really had a good time bowling last night. I am pretty confident it is my game. I think I will have to join a league but anyone be willing to play me considering how well I mastered it? I only threw the ball backwards twice. Yeah I know you all are envious.

It is a great thing being me.

Terri Hendrix Song....Everyone buy the CD

Monopoly

Lyrics and Music (Terri Hendrix)
Music (Lloyd Maines)

Supersize my fries
Bring back two apple pies
On your way out
Turn on the radio
Goodbye originality
Say hello to conformity
In the name of change
We're at an all time low

Watch what's on the TV screen
Read the paper or a magazine
And you'll see
That it's all about control
I miss the spice
In the melting pot
Of our lives
It goes down easy but it
Sure ain't got no soul

Keep it down
Keep it down
I'm gonna keep it down
And turn it up
On another day

Keep it down
Keep it down
We've gotta keep it down
And rise up
When you hear me say

There ain't no clear channel
clear channel its clear to see
One choice takes the voice
From individuality

There ain't no clear channel
clear channel its clear to see
One choice takes the voice
Away from you and away from me

At first it was the Cafe
Then the mom and pops all moved away
Now the billboards stand
Where they could not survive
The local DJ lost his show
After 20 years on the radio
Now we're stuck with what
The monopoly provides

I just want something new
To shake my soul and body to
Set up the tent I need to be revived
Make the consultant history
Keep the playlist a mystery
Don't make up my mind for me
Cause I'm still alive

Hey Hey FCC Don't you turn your back on me

Nuclear Polka

I never thought these two words could be so interesting but yesterday I was enlightened. I can believe I am about to say this but, I danced in a Polka mosh pit. Now everyone who knows and especially the folks who were there know I can not dance. I have none of that there rhythm. Ummm Yeah and did I mention I am trying to learn how to play the guitar? anyways.....

This band, Brave Combo, was a lot of fun. I absolutely enjoyed the heck out of myself. I even did a chicken dance. How can I ever top such a day as yesterday. I know it will be difficult to do. I had no idea what a chicken dance was. I suppose I knew at one point in life but forgot or perhaps that just missed East Texas. As I sit here and think about it, it almost seems like an East Texas invention.

The things I ate:
Salad from Chili's, chocolate dipped strawberries, chocolate dipped frozen banana,
spiraling fried potatoes, fried oreo, fried green tomatoe, dippin dots, steak sandwich from hooters, key lime pie.

Today I am dieting. I had ramen noodles for lunch. I did not eat much of any of that stuff but still ewwe.

I saw some wonderful art and even bought one piece. I bought a painting from a guy on the street corner. He was using spray paint on poster board. I got a very interesting painting for 5 bucks. I could not pass it up.

The most interesting thing of all though was Terri Hendrix. This woman was awesome. She is a folk singer. She sang about the FCC and Clear Channel. She will be in Richardson soon and I must go see her.

I think it is awesome how I started the day with Brenda and Sophie and ended the day With Sue, Todd and Cody.

Oh and how could I forget the guy who climbed a ladder in the middle of the street. There was nothing supporting the ladder. He just balanced himself on the thing and climbed up there and then juggled. WOW